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What is "Coming of Age"


On the first day of discussion in the “Coming of Age Novel” course, we talked about what it means to come of age. The meaning of the phrase should be useful, after all, since we plan to talk about various examples of it for an entire semester. We hardly reached a clear consensus, however.
Some people held the idea that a coming of age is a clear-cut event or ordeal after which you are an adult. This idea is upheld by many cultural traditions. My grandpa was a Boy Scout back in the 1950s. To join the Order of the Arrow, a national honor society for scouts, he had to complete an “ordeal,” which involved staying in the woods overnight, building his own shelter, and preparing his own food with few supplies. Though the ordeal wasn’t explicitly a coming of age ceremony, it’s a good example of a specific event which is supposed to change someone profoundly.
However, most people seemed to agree that coming of age is more of a process. Even a major experience can shape a person throughout their life; one episode can affect or change a person every time they reflect on it. For most people, coming of age is a series of small steps by which one becomes an adult. Learning how to cook, how to drive or take a bus, or scheduling your own doctor’s appointments are all steps towards becoming an independent person.
Of course practical experiences are not the only important part of becoming an adult. One must mature emotionally and learn how to cope with grief and disappointment. One must also come to terms with changing as a person and losing many of one’s childhood memories and friends.
I don’t think I have come of age yet. Though I can cook and ride the bus, I don’t know if I could pass for an adult on my own. I still rely on other people for motivation to perform basic tasks, like getting out of bed in the morning or going to sleep at night. The idea of becoming an adult also horrifies me. Maybe exposure to other people’s accounts of coming of age will help me to realize the ways in which I have grown and the ways in which I still need to grow.

Comments

  1. I definitely agree. While coming of age as a whole is a gradual process, the steps taken are discrete events that build up slowly towards the development of a persona. I also like the idea that independence is a large part of your idea of coming of age. I know that I, personally, am trying to become as independent as possible from my parents. I dislike having to rely on other people for anything.

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  2. I agree with the idea of coming of age being a gradual process. Although there are some events that can radically change a person, I think they are still a part of a series of events that gradually shape and mature a person.

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  3. I like the idea of relating coming of age to becoming independence. If we consider the cultures where young boys and girls must accomplish a task to become adults, the purpose is usually to establish that the individual is capable of thinking, acting, and coping on their own. I think it's interesting to see how Stephen progresses through these stages and what transformative experiences he goes through.

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